Donkey Punch, WTF?

don't make me punch youI was chewing on my handlers old newspaper when I read something about a movie called “Donkey Punch.” It immediately caught my attention, because being an old ass, I knew what the term “Donkey Punch” meant in slang.

It piqued my interest, so I read some more before finishing off the newspaper. I’m trying to come up with some plan to get my handler a copy of this movie so I can watch it through the window in the near future.

I have to thank the premise of this movie just a bit.  Maybe now people will realize that it’s a disgusting act, this “Donkey Punch” and will stop slapping me in the back of the head while making strange noises.

Here’s looking at you, somewhat attractive female human. Thanks for clearing things up.

Pot Hidden in Donkeys? C’mon!

happy pot leafSmuggling pot inside of donkey statues? Yeah, Really? You think this is funny don’t you? My reputation is going down the shitter right now because some douche-bag drug-smuggling assholes (not the place I sleep) are defaming my image by smuggling pot inside horribly fake knockoffs of my self and fine class of animal.

The saddest part of it all is that there are no winners in this. The druggies got busted, I get a bad rep and those ass-tastic statues got busted too.

Now all those loving fans of ours cannot depict their love for the species by tainting adorning their front lawns with these beautiful statues.

Dreams lost, shattered, gone.

Oh, Yeah, This’ll Work.

shit's gone wrongEver get that feeling that shit’s all gone wrong? Yeah, I have. I’ve been an ass all my life and now I’m going to blog about it.  After all, blogging is what makes the world go round and round right?

Lets take for example my jack-ass handler. Yeah, sure, he should have known better than to overload the kart like this. But he still insisted.  Now look, one poor ass stuck up in the air.

What’s that? face down ass up? yeah, I’ve heard that joke before. Maybe next time he’ll be the one tied to the kart and some day I’ll be able to slap him around.