Donkey Kong Deserves This

donkey kong tea bagDonkey Kong is not a donkey, and as such, I cannot say I disagree with him getting teabagged by Diddy Kong.

After all, when you’re big, dumb, throw barrels, steal princesses, and in general piss a lot of people off it’s no surprise he’s getting teabagged. ‘lolwut?’ is such a fitting caption, because that’s exactly what he’d say.

Suck Diddy’s nuts, you fat bastard.

Thanks to halolz for the image.

Don’t Abuse a Drunk Ass


This is a public service announcement.

Just because you found a drunk ass laying on the side of the road does not mean you get to abuse it.

It’s simply in all our best interest for you to just ignore it and keep on walking.  Random Intentional Ass Abuse (RIAA) is a felony in 48 states and will not be tolerated by your local law enforcement.

Should you be caught participating in RIAA activities you will be strapped to a post, striped naked and have your own ass beaten.

Thank you for listening. Have a nice day!

The Stupidest Ass Ever

The following may offend you. (It’s about time.)

This is by far the most stupid of stupid asses I have ever seen in my life.  I’m not talking about the donkey either. Look at this guy.

Why are his pants down?

Why is he in a field with a donkey.

Why is he slapping the donkey’s ass?

Why is he making sounds like a retard?

This is by far the most amazing act of stupidity I have ever witnessed in my entire life.

And the donkey wins.

That Sucks Donkey Balls


There’s one phrase out there that really gets my goat angry.  That’s the ever infamous “that sucks donkey balls.” What’s the big deal? What is there that is so wrong about donkey balls that makes sucking them a degrading, offensive statement?

As a donkey,  I’m offended by your offense to this non offensive statement. In fact, if anything, there needs to be more sucking of donkey balls.

It’s time to turn things around and instead of sucking donkey balls, you need to start enjoying donkey balls.  My friends over at Surfin’ Ass have some tasty treats that you should get.  Then next time someone refers to sucking donkey balls, you can say “and they taste great.”  That’ll confuse them.